My education. I want to be useful in my future.

I have he hardest time asking for help. I'm rather stubborn when it comes to getting things done and I usually taking on more than I can handle. However, I usually look at it as a challenge to complete so I usually end up overworking myself when I don't really need to. At school, I never asked teachers for help and just dwelled on the problem until I figured it out for myself. It did help my problem solving and connection making better than a teacher probably would, but I could get extremely frustrated. Another example of not asking for help is when I have to lift something extremely heavy. My job has a lof of lifting and carrying, a good 80% I can carry it by myself but the other 20% or so I either need someone to help me carry it because it's a two person job anyways or I just can't lift it. Being female, I'm pretty stronger than normal but I don't work out enough to compare to natuarl male strength that is developed through this job. Asking for help makes me feel weak and that's one thing I hate. Though, weighing my options, I would rather ask for help than get injured.

I learned how to make pancakes. From scratch, not from a pack :p

It has been so long since I have been completely dependent. Even when I'm home sick, I'm home sick by myself and I have to leave it to me to get myself up and eat. And if I'm throwing up, i just set up a bed in the bathroom because then it also makes it easier for me to get water.

I think it was probably four or five years ago I got this nasty sickness where I shook uncontrollably and went in and out of consciousness so rapidly that getting out of bed would be rather dangerous. I slept all day until my mum came home and she made me some toast to help me regain my energy. After that, I was sick on and off for a month. I probably should have gone to the doctors but that would be too expensive and I refused to go because I believed I could tough it out.

Even in scary situations, I can keep my cool and try to keep the panic to a minimum. It's not that I'm not afraid because, usually, I am. I just think about the people involved and that the situation calls for us to get from point A to point B and all this crying and yelling and whatever else is going on isn't going to get us anywhere. I guess my pragmatic behavior kicks into gear and other peoples dependency on me makes me stronger.

I pride myself in saving money. When I'm busy, it only takes a short time to save up a lot fo money from my jobs. Yet, since I'm currently not in school and I only have one job, I've been spending a lot of money. I really need to get myself busy again so that I can save it because I'll need it for when i do go to school this fall and begin to rent my own apartment.